Mother Goose Ships Johnlock
by ChrisCalledMeSweetie
Summary: It will only take you 30 seconds to read each of these nursery rhymes with a Johnlock twist.  But they will be 30 seconds well spent.  ;)
1. Fit John Watson

**Fit John Watson**

Fit John Watson  
Pudding and pie  
Kissed the girls  
And made them cry  
For when Sherlock  
Came out to play  
John declared  
That he was gay!

 **End Notes:** Your reviews make me smile. :)


	2. Sherlock Holmes Stood on a Wall

**Sherlock Holmes Stood on a Wall**

Sherlock Holmes stood on a wall  
Sherlock Holmes had a great fall  
All of Bart's women and all of Bart's men  
Couldn't put Sherlock together again

Except Molly Hooper — with magic unknown  
She whisked him away from the hospital zone  
All the conspiracy theorist nuts  
Could not figure out the hows, wheres, or whats

Sherlock Holmes came back from his trip  
Sherlock Holmes drew a 'stache o'er his lip  
All of the patrons and waiters in the place  
Could not stop John from punching his face

Sherlock and John had a great row  
Sherlock Holmes made a great vow  
All Moriarty's women and all of his men  
Would never part John and Sherlock again

 **End Notes:** Please review. **:)**


	3. Diddle Diddle Dumpling

**Diddle Diddle Dumpling**

Diddle diddle dumpling  
Sherlock and John  
Went to bed  
With their trousers on  
Their trousers came off  
And a condom went on  
Diddle diddle dumpling  
Sherlock and John

 **End Notes:** This has been a public service announcement. If you are sexually active with others, please practice safer sex. ;)


	4. Sherlock Had a Little John

**Sherlock Had a Little John**

Sherlock had a little John  
His jumper was white as snow  
And everywhere that Sherlock went  
His John was sure to go

John followed him to bed one day  
Which was against the rule  
Since John had said he was not gay  
Because he was a fool

And so his Sherlock turned him out  
But still he lingered near  
And there he waited patiently  
'Til Sherlock did appear

"Why does our John love Sherlock so?"  
The eager shippers cried  
"'Cause Sherlock loves his John, you know,"  
The author did reply.

...

 **End Notes:**

Please give me a little love  
By writing a review  
If you do, you'll make me want  
To write you something new

:)


	5. To Market, To Market

**To Market, To Market**

 _Note: For some reason, John's the one who always does the shopping..._

To market, to market  
To buy some tea  
Home again, home again  
Sherlock to see

To market, to market  
To buy some milk  
Home again, home again  
Sherlock's in silk

To market, to market  
To buy some bread  
Home again, home again  
Sherlock's in bed

To market, to market  
Groceries in a bag  
Home again, home again  
Sherlock to shag

 **End Notes:**  
To FF, to FF, to read something new;  
Now it is time to write a review. **:)**


	6. This Little John Went to Market

**This Little John Went to Market**

This little John went to market  
This little Sherlock stayed home  
This little John had roast beef  
This little Sherlock had none  
This little John cried _"Whee! Whee! Whee!"_  
As Sherlock made him come

 **End Notes:** This one is by request, for _I hate mosquitos_. Write me a review, and leave me a prompt, and maybe I'll write the next chapter for you. :)


	7. As John was going to Baker Street

**As John was going to Baker Street**

As John was going to Baker Street  
He met a man with seven feet  
Each foot had seven toes  
Each had begun to decompose  
Each foot was in a sack  
Sherlock slung across his back

Each sack also held eyes  
Of every color, shape, and size  
Seven eyes for every toe  
John said, "Do I want to know  
Why you have all these body parts?"  
"I liberated them from Bart's"

"And how many body parts are there?"  
John asked, as they went up the stair  
"In those sacks, with eyes and feet,  
That you're bringing home to Baker Street?"  
Sherlock looked at him, so cool  
John felt that he was being a fool

"Do the maths, if you must"  
John shook his head, then said with lust  
"The body part I want right now  
Is in your pants, if you'll allow"  
Sherlock quickly dropped each sack  
Raced for the bedroom, and never looked back

 **End Notes:** _I hate mosquitos_ challenged me to write a version of "As I was going to St. Ives" and this is what happened. Blame her, not me... )

I promise the next chapter will be fluffy and free from body parts. :)


	8. What is Johnlock Made Of?

**What Is Johnlock Made Of?**

What is Sherlock Holmes made of?  
What is Sherlock Holmes made of?  
Deductions and cases  
And rooftop races  
That's what Sherlock Holmes is made of.

What is John Watson made of?  
What is John Watson made of?  
Jumpers and tea  
Trigger finger steady  
That's what John Watson is made of.

What is Johnlock made of?  
What is Johnlock made of?  
Sugar and spice  
Both naughty and nice  
That's what Johnlock is made of.

 **End Notes:**  
What is a happy author made of?  
What is a happy author made of?  
Favorites and reviews  
And fic prompts, too  
That's what a happy author is made of.


	9. John Be Nimble

**John Be Nimble**

John is nimble  
John is quick  
John flicks his tongue  
Over Sherlock's prick

John likes satire  
John likes farce  
John likes licking  
Sherlock's arse

…

 **End Notes:** I was trying to keep these G or T rated, but _sweetmarley_ just had to suggest "Jack Be Nimble" as a prompt, and unfortunately there were only two words I could think of that rhyme with quick. So, now that I've changed the rating to M, all bets are off... )


	10. One, Two, What Shall We Do?

One, two, what shall we do?

Three, four, shag against the door.

Five, six, suck each other's dicks.

Seven, eight, 'cause we're not straight.

Nine, ten, do it over again.

...

 **End Note:** Written by request for _I hate mosquitos_. You're welcome. ;-)


End file.
